"Why have a wife when you can have me?" — The best psychologist's advice

Tits and fuck, it's better than playing Counter-Strike

I mean, not getting laid before we go out, but who am I dressed up for?

Why are you so uptight, man? Here, touch my tits and fuck me

Where are you? In Sims 4 we already got laid, and I'm sitting here not fucked

The only dick in the house is my brother's, so I'll have to jerk off by myself

Sweetheart, don't lick the sperm off your fingers, let me cum in your mouth again

You're taking a piss on the phone, but this way you can at least do something useful — suck it

I have a boner and she has a boss in Elden Ring — I'll put my dick in her mouth